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| "Average Girl"
So what I'm not your average girl
I don't meet the standards of this world
Chasing after boys is not my thing
See I'm waiting for a wedding ring
No more dating
I'm just waiting
Like sleeping beauty
My prince will come for me
No more dating I'm just waiting
'Cause God is writing my love story
Boys are bad, that's certainly not true
'Cause God's preparing one for you
If you get tired waiting till he comes
Gods arms are the perfect place to run
Sleep, that's the only thing
For me 'cause when I sleep Gods
Preparing one for me
"She Walked Away"
She couldn't take one more day
Home was more her prison now
Independence called out
She had to get it
A fight was all she needed
To give her reason
She slammed the door with no goodbye
And knew that it was time
Now she's driving too fast
She didn't care to glance behind
And through her tears she laughed
It's time to kiss the past goodbye
I'm finally on my own
Don't try to tell me no
There's so much more for me
Just watch what I will be
She walked away
Couldn't say why she was leaving
She walked away
She left all she had believed in
She walked away
Not a day goes by
For the one she's left behind
They're always asking why
And thoughts of her consume their mind
God please let her know
The love we tried to show
We'd promise anything
If you'd just bring her home
Tell her we love her
Tell her she's wanted
One more thing God
Tell her please come home
Please come home
The choice is yours alone now
Tell me how this story ends
"While the son was still a long way off, his father saw him and felt compassion for him, and ran and embraced him and kissed him. 'Let us celebrate for this child of mine was dead and he has come back to life, he was lost and now he is found,' and they began to celebrate."
Luke 15:20,24
Enjoy :) Love, K | | |
| I have obviously forgotten some things I learned this summer because I just had a pretty awful week... Well, very much due to the fact that I was cramming for a really hard exam, but I do that all the time and don't get nearly this stressed out. Well, if you know anything about 340 Smith Hall, you know that there are at least 3 people in this room at all times, sometimes more. There are three of us that eat sleep and study here (we adopted a roommate) and others that wander in and out all day. Something God taught me this summer was how to maintain peace in my heart and mind and body... basically how to be calm and unstressed in tough times. Part of that was realizing my personal need to spend a lot of time alone, away from people, with the Lord. Everyone has this need to an extent, but I specifically have huge needs for this. Since there is rarely a time when I'm not surrounded by people, even if I'm studying, I have been totally neglecting this need of mine. The problem has been adding up all semester, and it's obvious by the bitterness that I've built up at people around me, and instead of being honest about it all, I just tend to make sarcastic comments about it (and people just don't get it when you do that, trust me). So all of this led to a complete breakdown on Wednesday night. I just really fell apart... and that's when I remembered what it was like to live in a 2 bedroom apartment with 5 women. I remembered how most of my time not doing ministry or working needed to be spent with the Lord in a quiet place or roaming the beach in prayer. That's just what my own body requires. So now I've gotta take some practical steps to honor God by taking care of myself and making sure I'm being filled up by Him so that I can go about my everyday activities with peace, rather than bitterness or worry. This might mean that I need to move out of my room, even though I absolutely love my roommates. Or it might mean finding time and another place to go to get away from everything. For some people it's the opposite of me, some people need to spend time around people. Some people need to make sure they get enough sleep. Some people need to get exercise. Whatever it is, God has designed our bodies with needs and we need to listen to what those are. | | |
| I just had this epiphany. Okay, not even. A thought, maybe. I was thinking about temptations in life, stupid things that just suck us in, away from God. I was thinking back to when I was little and my parents taught me not to talk to strangers. This is a stretch, but hear me anyway. Strangers aren't all dangerous, but some of them are, you just can't tell. They told me "don't talk to strangers". They didn't say "talk to them, take a ride in their car, walk into their homes, and if they try to hurt you, just leave or tell them you want to play a video game instead". Parents know that it would already be too late for you. I think God has a similar message regarding temptations in our lives. He doesn't want us to put ourselves in the midst of it and if things get too bad, to leave then. I think he wants us to run from those things and to not give them a chance. I think it tends to be too late otherwise. I remember when a certain boy showed back up in my life, and I thought it was okay for us to "just be friends" and spend time alone together. After all, I knew what kind of standards God had for me, I had control over anything that happened. But that was not the truth. Once I had placed myself in that position, it was too late, and sin gained control over me and the situation. I did not escape the situation until significant damage had been done. Relationships are probably the number one spot that this happens with women. But how else is this applicable?... like going to a party with the intention not to drink. How often do people fail at that? God desires something more from us, a different kind of purity than the world understands. Read Ephesians 5:3.... "not a hint" of impurity should be in us. What does "not a hint" mean to us today? When we feel like we're doing everything right, where's the "hint" that we're ignoring... I tend to ignore this simply because it's "not as bad" as what someone else is doing. But God doesn't say "not as much as them", he says "not a hint". Period. Hmmm... something to think about today. | | |
| Wow that was an amazing bible study! Sarah did a lesson on prayer tonight, so we talked about how to pray, why to pray, etc... and it was really good. Then at the end I invited people to stay after and pray with me or give me prayer requests so I could pray for them, whatever. I didn't really expect people to come since it was already really late, but it was me, Sarah and Lisa, the study leaders, and the 3 other girls. All three of the girls just accepted Christ at the recent Andre Kole outreach, so I was really excited to pray with them. It was so amazing to see their hearts, hear their struggles, and then to pray together. By the end, most of us were crying and just so in awe of God and the love he has shown us through each other. Wow, I love these girls. And I asked one of them to have lunch with me on Friday. I'm really excited to get to know her and I'm thanking God so much for the opportunity to share my life with these girls. Yeah, just an amazing evening. I wish I didn't have to take a break from praying to study, but I think it's gotta happen :).
"Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen."
Ephesians 3:20-21 | | |
| Hey girls.
I just got off the phone with Amber, one of my friends from Stevens Point. She is such an amazing woman of God. I can't even explain how much I learn from her. Every time I talk to her I am just in awe of what God has done in her life and how he uses her to change hearts. Amber and I used to get together once a week last year to talk about life and learn about God together (in biblical terms - it's discipleship)- it was an absolutely life-changing time. She passed on so much knowledge and love to me. This year I'm doing the same thing with a girl named Becca who just graduated college and got married this summer. She is an amazing woman and such an influence to so many people. She always visits us in the dorm and she (along with her husband) came to another rugby match with us today!
As I was talking to Amber I realized what a huge impact women like her have had on my life. We didn't meet until after Christmas last year, when I had finally starting moving closer to God rather than away from Him. I walked away from the sinful life I was living and decided to put my efforts into changing, into falling in love with God and following His commands. This is when I met Amber. I was in a position where I was humbled by my own lack of strength to do anything on my own, I was thirsty for knowledge of God and what He had in store for me, and I was falling in love with God. I think that's something I need to remember, what that looks like. I need to always be in a state where I am digging to know God deeper, I must always be teachable. I think as we grow deeper in our faith their comes a point where we think we know pretty much all we need to know. And in teaching others, we feel like we've got a lot of the answers and people look up to us. But the bible can't be tackled in a lifetime. Neither can the problems of sin. A Christ-driven life is a full-time life-time job. There is no retirement, there are no vacations. Thankfully, it's the most rewarding and exciting thing we will ever choose to do. Notice the word "choose". This is definitely a choice. If we aren't choosing to do it, then we are not doing it. I don't even know if I would say there is a "sort of" category. I think we know in our hearts whether or not we are choosing this. If we say we are, yet live in purposeful sin, we are not. If we say we are, and don't spend time communicating with God and digging in his word, then I would probably say that we are not choosing to live a life centered on our God and King, Jesus Christ.
Anyway, back to what I was saying... I just think it's so important for us to grow off of other women. Seek out women who are following the Lord and learn from them. Learn their convictions, their knowledge, their struggles. God used Amber to make the things I was feeling into things I am now doing. I didn't know how to actually, practically, follow the Lord. I didn't even think it was possible in a world like this, but her life and her story showed me otherwise. If you see this woman in your life, seek her out and learn from her. It's powerful, it's real, it's biblical. | | |
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